Two or three months ago, I was on my way to meet my friend for her birthday. I grabbed a big cake and some candies from a bakery and went. I was driving while suddenly I looked to my right and saw a speeding 4×4 coming my way from a secondary road. My first reaction was to speed faster as the road was slippery (due to water spill) but it was too late.
My first reaction was a bit aggressive. I was shocked, shaking and angry: how would someone gets out from a secondary road to a highway with such speed! I got out of my car, was a bit in pain and saw the other car’s damages. I did not have the courage to see what happened to my car (which I consider my baby). I went closer to the other driver with an angry face until I saw an old lady shaking, scared, crying and trying hard to find the number of the insurance company through some papers.
When I saw that, I went back to my car, took a deep breath then came back to her window and asked her: “are you ok madam? any pain?”. She looked at me and said: “I am fine, are you? I am extremely sorry, I am sorry, sorry, I don’t know what happened, I can’t believe! It must be the brakes. I tried to hit the wall when I lost control but I am sorry, I hit you, thank God you are ok!”. then I started calming her down.
We both waited for the insurance companies to come and do their reports. I finally got to see the damages of my car but I didn’t care. She was fine even though she had no seat belt on! I have then waited for the driver of her husband to come and take her because her car was no longer functional. She asked me several times to leave and that there is no need for me to stay. She said: “I am going tomorrow to the hospital. I went for a drive to get some stuff and to take some fresh air before tomorrow. I felt suffocated and needed some fresh air but then you go out and don’t know what might be waiting for you!”. I asked her: “why the hospital, what’s wrong?”. She looked at me smiling, put her hand on my shoulder and said: “no worries my child, forget it; you’re too young.”. She then had tears in her eyes but tried to remain strong in front of me. I didn’t know what to do; I offered her some of the candies I bought and some water. She smiled like a little child. Then the driver came, she felt relieved. We made some jokes about this accident and we both left to different destinations.
I never knew her name. I never asked actually. I never asked for the insurance’s reports and what is the responsibility percentage of each one. I never cared (although as I have mentioned, I treat my car as if it was my child). I would never forget her tears, her hidden pain and I started questioning life and what it would be like when I grow old and start feeling weak on my own.
I had the choice back then to be mad, to be angry, to yell, to shout because I was right and she was wrong. I had the choice to show that I was the victim and play a dramatic role. I had the choice to hurt her even more than she was already hurt. But i did not take that choice and will never do. Even though sometimes life puts us in a position where we are pushed over the edge, it is about how we control our emotions and how we deal with difficult situations. I have learned that being quiet, kind and calm is always a better option even if sometimes it backfires on us. Having a soft heart and offering a small act of kindness in the worst situations can always make a better difference and can sometimes give back a smile to someone who needs it bad…
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”
Dina Hajjar 